I am pissed . . . really, really, really pissed. I feel the need to vent my frustration before I do something that will have me wearing orange for a long, long time. So sit right back and you'll hear a tale . . .
eBay, that's where it all started. After doing hours of research to find the camera of my son's dreams the choice was between two cameras: Fuji Finepix A205 or Kodak Easyshare CX6230. I read a bazillion reviews, adjusted my price range and even spent some up close and personal time with the cameras at Best Buy, Circuit City, Fred Meyer and WallyWorld. It was at Wallyworld that I found "the" camera. I fondled quite a few, checked out their options and ease of use. While holding the Kodak Easyshare a light shone down from heaven and that music that you hear when the light shines down from heaven ("clean up on isle 9") rang through my head. After dodging a falling price, I exclaimed "THIS IS IT, THE ONE!". My search is over, my son's birthday will be complete. Tears of joy almost streamed down my face. Feeling satisfied, I returned to work knowing that all was right in the world. Now all I had left to do is find it cheaper on eBay.
Naive eBay virgin that I am (or was) I was to find that getting what you want for the price you want isn't as easy as it would seem. I found the cameras I wanted to bid on. Then I checked the sellers reviews and shipping prices. Ta Da! There it was! I took the auction by the horns and wrangled a sweet deal on that camera. During the entire auction I was the winner. Riveted to the computer I watched the auction up until the last minute. The bold green words that said I was the highest bidder were blazing before me. One minute left. Oh god! It was so exciting, almost orgasmicly so. Heart racing, stomach knotting, palms sweating . . . less than a minute left. Butt raised off the chair, ready to leap up and do a victory dance, my bold green turned to fine red. What the hell just happened here?!!! For ONE more dollar, during the last fucking 10 seconds of the auction some asshole stole my son's gift right out from under me. I hate that asshole, whoever they may be. The eBay virgin was raped by some heartless bastard. Will the emotional scars ever heal?
The following morning I lamented to the computer/eBay addict at work and was informed that there is a name for that. That name is "SNIPER". So here I go again. Only now, as Bugs Bunny would say "This Means War!". This time, however, I will be the one hiding in the bushes, with a powerful scope on my "piece", waiting to snatch away the precious camera with a one dollar bid. I'm kicking ass and taking names people!
Time for a little target practice!